The power of the tongue: why we should mind what we say.

I might be a woman of many words, but I'm still mindful of the words that come from my mouth. I won’t lie and say that I’m perfect because I’m not. In the past I have spoken negatively towards myself, my situation, questioned my future and vocalised doubt (like we all have), but these are traits that we have to be conscious of and stop.

A lot of the time we’re not even conscious of our choice of words… You may speak on something without ill-intention - especially about yourself - and not realise that you’re stunting your growth. As I’ve grown up and started to pay attention to the words I say (and consume), it’s very apparent that the power of the tongue is not something to be played with!

BE INTENTIONAL:

When it comes to changing our language, it’s important to be intentional. Anything you wouldn’t want to materialise is better left in your head. You may have heard the phrase “speaking it into existence” and there’s truth in that statement. Whilst your words may not represent your present circumstances, reinforcement of negative or hindering thoughts can certainly have an impact on our mindset and future decisions.

It’s important to try and nip this language in the bud and replace it with certainty and positive outlooks. We all have doubting thoughts. We all judge ourselves and are critical. We all have a voice that puts us off things. It’s normal. I’m not saying stop thinking these things because these are things we can’t always control. They’re our natural responses. What we can do is control which thoughts we bring to life.

Think of it like this: We all have two voices… the voice of defeat, and the voice of faith. One voice tells us “You can’t. You’re not good enough. You don’t have what it takes”. The other says “you’re capable. You will get there. You’re on track to being great.” The beauty is that we get to pick which voice we bring to life when we open our mouths. The choice is ours.

MAKING CHANGES

The first step to changing our approach is by identifying problematic language. What are we telling ourselves that could be hindering our growth? Are we putting ourselves down? Here are some examples… maybe you’re guilty of using these too:

“I can’t”

“I’m not good enough”

“No-one will like me/my work”

“Hopefully….”

“I’m not ready”

“I’ll never be happy”

“It’s just my luck!”

You get the picture. It’s not that you don’t want things to go right for you, it’s just how you feel in the moment… by saying it out loud you give these words life. Start talking in a way that focuses on being better. Instead of “I’m not good enough”, try saying “how can I get better”. Instead of unsure statements such as “hopefully…” and “maybe…”, say “When…” and “One day…”. Be confident in your vision and potential. It’s not going to be easy at first, but if you pay attention to how to talk, you can catch yourself more quickly. When you hear yourself saying “I don’t think I’m ready…” say “I’ll be ready soon”. Be definitive in your language. Have certainty in your voice. Why? Because when you tell yourself you will be someone, and you will achieve something, you allow your brain to focus on getting there. When you tell yourself “how can I…” instead of “I can’t”, you will be surprised how much easier it is to find a solution and reach that goal.

FLIPPING THE NARRATIVE

When you speak with the possibility of failure, you already set yourself up. You give yourself an excuse from the start. If you say “I can’t” and then you fail, you’ll tell yourself “I knew it” and stop trying, but when you tell yourself “I’ll be able to soon” you’re telling yourself that eventually, you’ll get there. It’s not to say that you won’t fail, but when you don’t succeed at first, you can pick yourself back up and try again because you know that you’ll get there. By flipping the narrative, you allow yourself to approach the situation in a more logical and progressive way. When you seek solutions instead of dwelling on failure, you’re more likely to change the situation.

It sounds silly but the brain is your body’s machine. What you programme is what it processes. If you riddle your mind with failure and fault, you tell it to shut down when things go wrong. If you tell it to keep trying, it finds a way to make a solution with the foundations and skill you’ve already programmed. In the same way something as small as a symbol in coding can decipher if a programme will run or not, the choice of words can affect the way we approach and overcome obstacles that would otherwise be hindering.

YOU ARE WHAT YOU SPEAK

When we say the same thing over and over to ourselves, we are reinforcing a narrative. If I say I’m unhealthy, unhappy, and unproductive, eventually that will be my reality because it is what I have conditioned myself to believe. If I tell myself that I will be healthy, happy, and consistent, I’ll find myself doing things that fit that narrative until it matches my reality. I will become conscious of the way I fuel my body, I’ll look at the positives in situations (or not dwell on the negatives), and I’ll tell myself to keep going because I’ve come so far… all of which will get me closer to my goal. In both instances, the situation is the same at the start, but when you speak to yourself in a positive way and vocalise growth, these are the results you’ll start to see.

What you need to remember is that your mind instructs your body. Like I said before, your mind is the computer. It’s the core of how you function. Where your head is, your body follows. You may have heard the phrase “mind over matter”. It’s a tactic that athletes in particular use when they feel demotivated or physically challenged because it works. Your body may want to give up but it may still have fuel in the tank. When you tell yourself “5 more reps” or “keep going, you’re nearly there” you push harder because you have an end goal in sight. When your body starts to fatigue it’s easy to give up prematurely and stop but when you tell yourself “just a little bit more”, your brain is able to override any temporary pain (literally and metaphorically) and hold on until the end.

Why do you think mood boards and positive affirmations are so popular? They work for the simple reason that you are able to visualise the goal and enforce a mindset and action that enables it to materialise. Are affirmations and mood boards the magic trick to success? No. Action still needs to be taken and the work still needs to be done, but by writing it down and speaking it out into the atmosphere, you break down the process which makes it easier to manage and achieve. As you condition your brain to reach that goal, the workload often becomes easier to get through.

This is supported by Christopher N. Cascia & co’s study in self-affirmation who found that “affirmations can decrease stress, increase well being, improve academic performance and make people more open to behaviour change.” Other findings included an “…increased activity in reward/valuation regions during self-affirmation […]associated with decreases in sedentary behaviour following the affirmation intervention.” I won’t bore you with the details of the study and process but if you’re interested, you can read the study (published on the National Center for Biotechnology Information) by clicking here.

WHAT IF…

A good way to practice more wholesome and positive thinking is to act like your words are definitive. What if everything you said came true immediately? There isn’t an option to take back what you say… you’re told that everything that comes from your mouth WILL happen. Maybe then you’ll be conscious of the words you pick? Even phrases we say as a joke should be said with caution. Don’t speak something negative over your life.

Let me give you an example: We - the younger generation - have adopted phrases like “I’m dead” when we find something funny. Yes, the context may be different, but the words are powerful. You are responsible for what you’re saying and what you say is released into your future. If you need to change the things you’re consuming to break these habits then so be it. Don’t “joke” negatively and act surprised when things aren’t going right. It’s important not to underestimate how much our unconscious mind can influence what we attract. In saying that though, don’t keep things in your head either! A close mouth is also a closed destiny. Speak over your life with intention. Speak out loud the thoughts you want to materialise and watch how your actions start to support the vision.

Why don’t you commit yourself to mind what you say for a week and then a month? How many times do you speak negatively over yourself? How many times do you vocalise doubt? How often do you talk yourself out of things or undermine your potential? Pay attention to yourself for once and you might just learn something new. When we feel stagnant in our growth, it’s important to identify possible causes and it can be as simple as the words we use. Remember… Whilst words are powerful in setting the tone, action still needs to be taken.

Do you use positive affirmations in your daily routine? Are you conscious of the words you speak and consume?

Let me know your thoughts!

If you liked this, you might like “the power of positive affirmations”.

I hope this helps!

Liz x

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