The self-help book I couldn't put down: The Subtle Art Of Not Giving A F*ck.
Hello! I guess I should say Happy New Year? I don’t think we’ve reached the cut-off day yet so I’ll run with it…
It’s typical of people to want to start the new year on a good foot (hence the New Year’s resolutions that often flop), and as a new year starts, new habits and mindsets are often formed too.
2020 isn’t just the start of the new year though; It’s also the start of a new decade - in case you didn’t know - so It’s no surprise that people will want to start this one differently. Some would even argue that THIS new year will be different from the rest… but for real this time LOL!
A lot of people have been getting into reading to increase their knowledge and transition into the right mindset. Their go-to genre? You guessed it! Self-help books. But are they all they’re cracked up to be or is it just a millennial thing that we’ve all bought into? Well, tbh most are just regurgitated phrases and quotes but there are a few good ones out there. I bought a load of books last year… Like, a lot! Most have been sitting on my bookshelf for a while now collecting dust and this year I told myself I’d make more of a conscious effort to read more instead of spending so much time on social media.
One of the books on my list was this book: The Subtle Art Of Not Giving A F*ck by Mark Manson. I had been told it was a good read and there seemed to be a hype around it. It’s supposed to be one of the best self-help books, with some arguing it changed their life so, I thought; why not start the year with this one? I’ve read a few self-help books and this didn’t seem long so on my day off I picked up this book, got myself comfortable, and read, and read, and read…
For someone who hasn’t read a book (properly) in what feels like years, I found myself glued to this book. I managed to read it all in less than four hours. You read that right… I completed it in one sitting and I wasn’t rushing either.
This book was different from similar books I’d read. It was hilariously witty, casual and full of swear words! Oh, and it also tells you to kill yourself. The first thing I noticed was how easy it was to read and relate too. Within the first half an hour I had snapped my fingers multiple times in agreement and said “woow” far too many times to count. What I liked about this book was that it wasn't trying to come across as the answer to all life problems and Mark states this at the end of the first chapter. There are no rules, no f*cks, just raw, unfiltered thoughts. Did he use LSD hallucinations to make philosophical points? Absolutely. Was that shade you just read? Definitely. Why is there a talking panda? F*ck knows lmao but it’s there!
Unlike other books, this felt like I was reading a blog post (a very long blog, obviously). It starts to make a lot of sense when you realise that Mark Manson is like, kinda a big deal in the blogging world. I liked this style though because it felt as if I were talking to myself. I can’t explain it but he wrote how I think… It was relatable for sure. I had to pause for a second because he was preaching things I had been saying myself. There were times where he went off-tangent- talking in metaphors and parables (in the same way my mind often wanders), but then he brings it back just at the right time. Did I mention that this book was jokes? I don’t think I’ve ever laughed so much at a “self-help” book but it was brilliant.
“Growth is an endlessly iterative process. When we learn something new, we don’t go from “wrong” to “right.” Rather, we go from wrong to slightly less wrong. And when we learn something additional, we go from slightly less wrong to slightly less wrong than that, and then to even less wrong than that, and so on. We are always in the process of approaching truth and perfection without actually ever reaching truth or perfection.”
I’m not saying I learned new things but it was in the way Mark expressed his points that resonated with me in a way they hadn’t before. Although there was a lot of common sense (like most of these books), he was snatching my edges left, right and centre in the sheer way in which it was delivered. I found myself deeping situations and perspectives from a newer, raw angle. For me, there were many situations I could directly relate to, whether that was through travel experiences or admitting faults and stubbornness in my character, and it allowed me to pause for a minute and really think about what I had read. I realised early on that my lifestyle is already similar to the one Mark was advocating, but it made me tie up the loose ends and check myself properly. There was no sugar coating here… it’s time to shift your mindset.
In line with typical self-help style, the book uses examples of people (real gems) as inspiration or as a lesson, though Mark deliberately takes an unconventional approach. If you read this with the mindset of “What’s Mark got to say that I don’t already know?” you’ll find that there probably isn’t a lot of new things BUT if you let it, it will make you take a step back and re-evaluate a lot of past situations and the importance you placed on it… until you realise that maybe that situation didn’t need half the attention you gave it. The book acknowledges that everything comes with consequence and hardship, but each individual has a decision to make on WHAT that means for them. This book will help you with that.
In the grand scheme of things, there isn’t a lot of things in life that needs attention. Saying that there is a lot of things you’re probably sweeping under the carpet that DOES require you to give a f*uck. The book invites you to address the layers behind the problem… dig deeper for the answers. It pushes you into a corner until you have no choice but to think HONESTLY about WHY and WHAT is that cause.
It’s funny how things come your way when you least expect it or at times you didn’t expect. I had this book for over a year and it was just chilling in my room but I had never picked it up to read. I don’t think I would have appreciated it as much as I do now. There’s an art of good timing, and I believe there’s a time and place for everything… this certainly came at the right time. I ended up taking more from this book than I had first thought. Because it felt like I talking to myself (honestly, Mark is me and I am him) I think I was more open to listening. I brought down my stubborn guards (with all the excuses and explanations that come with it) and I read it in the raw form it presented itself - taking responsibility in the process.
You are already choosing, in every moment of every day, what to give a fuck about, so change is as simple as choosing to give a fuck about something else. It really is that simple. It’s just not easy - Mark Manson
This is a book I’d suggest everyone reads once. You may think you know and live the lifestyle it suggests but there will be SOMETHING you take from it. This book put clearly things I didn’t even realise how I felt about situations and made me unravel layers I might have deliberately ignored. It’s filled with hard truths and helps you unburden the things you probably should have let go of a long time ago. Most importantly, it teaches you that we’re all similar in how we operate… it’s just up to you to decide how you navigate through life, and what consequences you’re willing to endure.
This marks the first of many books I plan to read this year and I’m glad I started with this. I’ve given myself the challenge to read a book a week (I used to have to read 3 books a week for Uni - I don’t miss those days), so any suggestions are welcome.
I’ve got a whole load of quality books to get through which I’ll be sharing on my socials and IF self-help books ARE your thing, I have a few more suggestions for you! I hope you do manage to get your hands on this, and if you’ve read it already I’d love to know your thoughts! Whether you read this one or not I couldn’t give a f*ck… I joke, but one thing I ask of you is to pick up a book and read because it’s refreshing and makes a good detox form the social media life we all seem to be addicted to. You can start with this book… just saying!
Rating: 4.5/5
Liz x