Ignoring Self-care will cost you time and money.

Life has a funny way of slowing you down when you’re too stubborn to listen.

Believe me, I learned this the hard way.

I don’t know about you, but I try not to rest if I can help it. It’s not that I think rest is bad per-se but it just sounds a bit unproductive to me. Let’s be real, life doesn’t allow us to rest in this day and age… Everything is competitive, things are expensive, responsibilities are real and there’s money to be made. Rest isn’t something the average person can consider and I know rest won’t pay the bills either so when someone tells me to “rest” or “relax” I find it hard to view it as something worthwhile. As far as I’m concerned, (and I’m sure I’m not alone in this mindset) I’ll rest when I’ve achieved my goals, but until then, there’s no time for alla dat.

You only have to know me in person or follow my socials to see that I’m a chronic insomniac who doesn’t know how to stay still. AT ALL. I’m the sort of person who could be working all night and still operate throughout the day. My body doesn’t require much sleep to function, and thanks to genetics, my appearance is not compromised by lack of sleep either. It doesn’t help that I’m usually the most productive when I should be sleeping so by the time I do manage to sleep, it’s morning again and I have things to do. There have been days where I’ve gone to bed at 4:30 am and woken up less than 2 hours later for an intense morning workout at 7 am followed by a full day at work. Sometimes, even I wonder where my energy comes from because it’s not from sleep!

People ask me all the time how I function. Close friends and some family members often express their concerns over my lack of rest and “time out” I give myself - as they should be – and I do try… I do! It’s just… It’s not so simple. When lack of sleep has become woven into the fabrics of your being (sounded poetic okay) there’s not a simple off and on switch you can flick to reset your body clock - that’s if I even have one. I joke it off a lot, often counting the hours as the time hits 1 am, 2 am, 3, 4, 5… Oops! I did it again 🤦🏽‍♀️. It’s the same story over and over and I tell myself; “Mybad, we go again tomorrow I guess”.

Am I not concerned? Oh, absolutely! I worry about it all the time. I remember I was on a night shift having not slept that day watching sleep Scientist Matt Walker’s TED Talk (we love a good TED Talk) titled “Sleep is your superpower” which did put a little fear into me and made me deep how much I need to fix this. But I’m stubborn and the fear didn’t stay for long. The problem with me is that I’m very aware but equally as stubborn. (I urge you to watch it in your own time. It’s less than 20 minutes and you will learn A LOT!)

Honestly? I LOVE the idea of sleep. I don’t have any hate towards it. My body just never seemed to master the art of sleep and it stems back to when I was a toddler. The truth is, although I seem to run on faith, this is not sustainable in the long-run, nor is it healthy or functional and I’ve been trying to fix it for years now… maybe not as much as I could have but it takes too long to change and I’m not patient if I’m still functioning perfectly as I am.

The way my body operates is pretty interesting. I function for weeks and have a crash day once in a while. It means one day I’ll sleeeep (8-10hrs) and for the next few days after I’ll be a little sluggish. It’s annoying but I’m only human… and then I go back to a month of minimal sleep until the cycle repeats again. Like I said, I have friends who hate me for it and just wish I would relax for once. In a way, I’m abusing myself and it’s not always for any good reason. I literally just suck every last bit of energy out of me until I have nothing left to give.

“sleep Is a non-negotiable, biological necessity” - Matt Walker

I’ll admit, I shouldn’t be proud (though most of me is impressed lmao), and I HAVE been saying that this year I’ll take better care of myself - including sleep. Well, roll on 2020 and I was still on my BS (let me not even front, was I not up until 5 am last night? I digress). I said this year I’ll put in more effort and fix in a proper routine. I once got close to a regular pattern with the Headspace app, but it didn’t last long. Rest is not only important for the practicality of feeling recharged but also a whole heap of other benefits (I got A* in Psychology so I know better than this). For those who train a lot like me, sleep IS KEY for recovery and important to see the effects of your training. I would look a whole lot better if I allowed my body to rest but hey, I’m stubborn, remember?

WELLL, this year my body said NOOOPE! We will not carry this behaviour into the next decade and last week I was hit with a double whammy – Viral tonsillitis AND the flu flu! To say that it has been frustrating would be an understatement. This has got to be the sickest I’ve been in my whole adult life (and I really don’t get sick often) and it has literally forced me off work all week. It wasn’t a creeper either! I went to the doctors because I was absolutely fine one day and a wreck the next… it just didn’t make sense. But I know why. I hadn’t been taking care of my body the week before and had slept a collective 12 hours over 4 days (not even good quality sleep) which even I can admit is shambolic. Not only that but in my “awake time” I had been pushing my body, training hard and required a lot of energy for the tasks I was doing. That Friday, I was feeling a “crash day” coming but little did I know how bad this crash would be.

The doctor ordered me to REST and take TIME OFF and I looked at her like she was mad. WTF is rest? I couldn’t think of anything worse and was already planning my return on day three. You see, doing nothing really isn’t my thing. I get irritable and anxious. I don’t deserve to have a break. Of course, I nodded and went home… for approximately 1 hour before hopping in my car to run some errands (stubbornness is a curse). I might not be at work but I could still do things, correct? WRONG. I’m usually the person who sweats out a cold in the gym or brushes it off my shoulder and it gets better eventually but just a short car trip and small small tasks caused me to be bed-bound that night. I felt like death. My throat was in BITS, my body was WEAK and I told myself that this sh*t was some serious sh*t and it was time I stooped cutting corners and listened to the doctor’s orders.

I was ready to fight back. I raided the cupboards, prepared all the hot fluids I could think of and was planning my swift return…. but some things require patience. Your body can’t be rushed.

I’ve been off for 4 days now. It’s the longest I’ve ever taken off work for illness (I’ve only ever taken one sick day) but it’s necessary. I’m still not great but I’m getting better and the more I’m forced to relax, the more I appreciate how my body operates under the pressure I put it through but I also admit my lack of care, and I’ve learnt that if we want our bodies to work work for us, like anything in life, we must take good care of it too.

I speak of sleep because it’s what I neglect my body from the most, but self-care is not limited to sleep. It’s also taking care of yourself mentally and knowing when to take some time out or know when to switch off from the world. I won’t lie, I always have some sort of stress at the back of my mind or thought and it explains why my brain is always in overdrive. I’m not alone in that, and I know many people have been in the same boat. Life may become stressful and you know you need a break but instead of granting yourself that time off, you often end up piling on the work and hope that your body will continue to trudge along. It’s a familiar story many know all too well and I can understand why we never give ourselves the love we show others. After all, we’re usually the last person we think about helping but i’lI tell you something else: No-one else has responsibility for you and no-one else can look after you better than you can look after yourself.

If you’ve had a busy week at work and need to rest on the weekend, it’s ok to cancel on dinners, nights out, irrelevant plans. It’s ok to say no or turn off your phone to sleep or enjoy the spa or simply read a book or binge a series on Netflix. At the end of the day, you owe no-one an explanation and YOU ARE WORTHY OF SELF-LOVE. Thankfully we are seeing this being promoted more in social media where people are starting to do things for themselves, despite what others may think.

Matthew Write opened up on his mental health the other day on This Morning and said that the greatest gift his wife gave him this Christmas was encouraging him to spend Christmas in the Caribbeans to get space, clear his head and re-tune… and he’s better for it and can be of more use now. Similarly, we’ve seen Prince Harry and Megan Markle’s decision to step down in their roles as Senior members of the Royal family so that they can do what they feel is right for their life as a family. It’s so easy to get sucked into explaining why you’re doing something, and society will give the impression that putting yourself first is not a good enough excuse, but I’m here to tell you that it’s absolutely more than enough- and you owe no-one an excuse because it won’t be them picking up the pieces.

We’re so caught up in chasing the bag and hustling that we forget our body can’t last long. Our body will break down and no matter who is dependent on you, you can’t give 100% of yourself if you’re not healthy and you can’t help anyone if you’re not here because of a lack of self-care and a lack of sleep can kill. And I don’t say this to scare you, I say this as truth: A lack of sleep will literally shorten your life and you cannot “make up” for it. Once it’s gone, it’s gone.

In a way, I’m lucky I’m just a bit ill. I Could have been worse. I could have been hospitalised…

A quick story time before I wrap things up:

A few months ago I was at work. I was so sleep-deprived and had been neglecting my body to the point that I wasn’t eating much either, whilst still maintaining high activity and physical demand. Out of nowhere, a ringing noise started going in my ear and it got louder, and louder, and louder, and louder… until I couldn’t hear any background noise. I didn’t know what was happening to me but I started to panic. My head started spinning and my vision was becoming distorted. I was seeing dots everywhere and the ringing kept going in a higher pitch. I was struggling to breathe and I was getting hotter. I tried to speak and call for help but even that felt like too much energy. I genuinely thought something really bad was happening to me.

Someone was with me at the time but the ringing was so loud I could barely hear them, let alone see them. At that moment I made a decision to run. I didn’t know how long I had until I hit the ground but I knew I needed air to breath again and I was trying not to throw up at the same time. It was strange and very scary. Perhaps I was about to faint? Maybe it was something worse? I don’t know - I’ve never fainted. Luckily, I managed to run out just in time so that the cold air hit my face and somehow stopped whatever process my body was going through. I ran to the toilet since I was still feeling sick and as my sight began to come back clearly again. My face was dripping in sweat and I was pale AF. It was in this moment that I realised I really must care for my body because life is mad short and our body is only as good as we treat it. I still don’t know exactly what happened but I had no control over my body and I told myself I never want to experience that again.

I don’t think I told anyone at the time and I played it off a lot calmer than it was but I was shook. I had pushed my body to a new extreme that I knew wasn’t healthy and I told myself I would be more serious in the future. What’s the point of training well if you neglect the one thing it needs to function - rest?! Like I said, I’m a pretty stubborn nut to crack, and although there are positives to that, in this instance it’s on par with stupidity. I’m mature enough to check myself and admit I’m wrong but yet, here we are.

I speak to you all, as someone who is currently recovering from a horrendous attack on my body (and, who is finally listening) to learn from my mistakes. As much as we’d love to chase the bag, achieve our goals and do the most, we MUST ensure that rest lies at the centre. It doesn’t mean be lazy. It doesn’t mean sleep excessively. It doesn’t mean don’t do an all-nighter. What it means is that you should treat your body right and listen to it when it needs a break, both physically and mentally. If you don’t listen it will force you to listen and you’ll have no choice but to wait it out which will cost you both money and time. If we dedicate even 20 minutes a day to our mental health and look after our body, this will help us live a better quality of life. No-one wants to be ill and no-one wants problems in their health. As much as you want to tell yourself “there’s no time for that”, my friend, you must make time. Your body is a temple and you only get one. Look after it wisely!

“There is simply no aspect of your wellness that can retreat at the sign of sleep deprivation and get away unscathed” - Matt Walker

Peace and love,

Liz x